i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
