happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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