Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
