Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
