so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
