You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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