we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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