Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
