DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
