Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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