I got chris browned last night
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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