Say something about gay babies.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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