is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize