went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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