How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
