just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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