Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize