I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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