I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
