i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
