I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
