Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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