Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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