Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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