You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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