She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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