Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
