yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
