in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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