Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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