So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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