Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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