Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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