It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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