i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize