So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
