i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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