perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
