Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???