yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.