um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
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She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
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I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!