Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
