Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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