She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
