but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
