break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
