There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
