I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is classic penis vs brain.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
