I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
