Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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