Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
