Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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