No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
