DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
