I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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