Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
