yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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