his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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