did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
