so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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