I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
