I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
