Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
